A Letter From the Furmonger General of Gumi

Welcome to the blog of the coldest colonial outpost in the Empire of the Long Fur: Gumi. I'm Chris Furlong, the Furmonger General of this fair city. We hope you learn lots about Gumi, furmongering, and also hope you might consider emigrating here.

In Gumi, we take pride in our ability to monger the finest quality of exotic fur from East Asia. We are famous for it! People usually don't like fur because cute baby seals are killed to make it, but our fur trappers are not trappers! They don't kill Korean seals! They are fur shavers. They shave the baby seals of Korea and then weave the fur piles onto synthetic fabric. We hope to make millions off of this process!

Other benefits of living in Gumi include women with great teeth, no grass (for you grass haters), lots of concrete (for old men who love concrete), and copious amounts of neon crosses blazing the message of the Lord!


Oh yeah: education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education, education X ad infinitum.

No wonder the natives can only be called nerd-geeks.

So the next time you are considering emigrating to Taiwan or Calgary - a wasteland of the devil, I tell yah - consider the tens of thousands of Won you could make selling shaved Korean baby seal fur AND THE WOMEN WITH THE NICE TEETH>>>